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Getting Real About Love

By Jill Heine

I am getting married in a few days. In the recent months leading up to the wedding, I have had a lot of counseling by ministers of my church. By getting this counseling I was able to avoid many of the pitfalls awaiting unsuspecting newlyweds. However, I was resistant to hearing most of what was said to me. Most of the time the counseling consisted of popping bubbles of illusion I had carefully constructed around me.

Looking back, I see that the help I received is valuable beyond words. I was schooled by people who have made the mistakes, and were now teaching me how not to do the same.

As a female, the main trap I got stuck in was upholding the fantasy about what love is. We are trained to go off to LaLa Land, get that starry-eyed look, give ourselves away to the other person, all in the name of "being in love". This is a program passed down to me from many generations before.

I believed thoroughly that I had to "feel" that kind of love so that I could justify being married, settling down and having a child with this person. When I look at it, that is all I really wanted. It's not a bad motive, except if it is covered up beneath false "I love yous".

The false "I love yous" set your partner up for a downfall later on down the road. And it is actually cruel to say "I love you" to someone if you know it is a control factor in the relationship. I realized love is an action not a word, and by being truthful I am demonstrating true love.

When the false love game comes up and tempts me to act it out, my conscience goes off inside to let me know I am lying to myself and that person. If I hadn't had the help of many other people, I would have blindly entered into a marriage built upon sand.

I believe it is possible to remain in my center and still have fun. It is not necessary to go into fantasy when getting married. In fact, God within demands that I don't.