Good Deeds and Just
Punishments
Food For Thought by William H.
Duby
 It
has been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions but
what about good deeds? I'd like to relate one experience of many that
I have had when dealing with certain members of the humanity that go
astray from common sense.
I am the first to admit that freedom of speech and freedom of
religion are very important first amendment rights.
All people have the God given right to say what they need to say,
and to do what they need to do, to exercise their personal, political
and religious beliefs, as long as they don't jeopardize the life,
limb or property of other individuals. This ideal sounds good in
principle but, in all actuality, there are times when you find
yourself in an indefensible position, in a place without legal
protection.
What I am trying to say, is that people can make all kinds of
accusations without facts and often without paying the consequences
of misusing legal law by slandering another human being.
Look at the political arena these days. Participating in
defamation of character seems like the political way of playing hard
ball. You can say what you want to say about the candidate through
innuendos. The logic behind the inference is illogical at best, and
intended to destroy the image of the candidate in the mind of the
electorate. So, with that in mind, facts of truth aren't necessary.
All that is important is a smear campaign. Spreading rumor is the
dirty tricks of politics. In truth, the same holds true for every
other walk of life. Whether it is called "dirty politics" or it is
called "dirty pool" - the reality of rumor without fact seems to be
the way wicked people discredit an individual. I suspect this is why
gossip is immoral whether it is looked at as illegal or not.
About a year and half ago, a young lady came to me complaining
about the mental and emotional abuse her husband was forcing upon
her. She was under such stress that it was apparent she could easily
have had a nervous breakdown any minute. In fact, she had once had a
nervous breakdown when she was much younger. In any event, I listened
to her complaint and then offered her a psychic healing to remove the
negative or unwanted energy. She responded well and she seemed to
have a miraculous turn around but time proved it was a temporary
measure.
At first I didn't do anymore than provide the safe and controlled
environment where she could take a breather from her busy life
schedule. As time went on, she would return repeatedly with a crazed
look upon her face. More often than not, she was fit to be tied -
bewildered, confused and emotionally disturbed. She was like a boiler
about to explode, soon to blow her top - if the pressure wasn't
discharged for relief. I came to her rescue on many occasions. I
released the pressure by making sure she received a psychic healing.
Once the negative or unwanted energy was taken out of her space,
she would return home only to imbibe the pain and misery of an angry
male whose egotism compelled him into the vain glory of self
importance. Try as much as she might to talk with this guy, she would
find him exploding in anger towards her. So much so, she eventually
found it difficult, if not seemingly impossible to communicate with
him because of his uncontrollable fits of rage. After awhile the
pressure began to build in her, and she would return to our place for
another psychic healing. Time and time again this cycle would repeat
itself until it was ridiculous. It wasn't getting better in spite of
every attempt on her part to make the marriage work.
It became apparent, early on, that her husband needed to know his
marriage was on the rocks. And it wasn't going to get better until he
took the appropriate measure to deflate his own ego and settle down
to hear what she needed to say, as the wife looking out for the best
interest of the entire family unit. In other words, he was scaring
the hell out of her and he needed to put her at ease, for her rest
and well being.
I did what the holy writings say to do. As the Pastor, I went to
the man and spoke to him in private. I received the same treatment
his wife did whenever she tried to communicate with him. You could
feel the static electricity between us while it formed itself into
what seemed like a stone wall. I felt my intelligence being insulted
and I endured the psychological pain because it came with the
territory.
He would say such things as, "She doesn't say these things to me."
I would reply, "She doesn't because she knows you will explode
when she tries to speak to you."
It was obvious that he didn't want to hear it. Nevertheless, I
told him the truth as I knew it to be from her. After saying what I
had to say, I departed and left him to his own inclination. I had an
intuitive sense that he was not going to heed the message. That he
would only get mad, more angry and spiteful.
It wasn't long after that I was confronted with the same pattern
of events. His wife would show up at the place and she was a nervous
wreck. You would instantly begin to think she was going to fall apart
at any moment. She was vulnerable, raw and on edge. She could barely
function. We did more healing work on her and she would return home,
only to come back soon after, and worse than before. Things didn't
get better because the husband refused to face his responsibility to
let the wife vent her spleen. He didn't want to hear what she had to
say. He was so possessed by insecurity, his conceit didn't leave any
room for her opinion much less factual report on the marital
situation, as she saw it.
I went to the man again. Except this time, as dictated by holy
writ, I took a witness. We both did our utmost to talk sense with
this man who chose to remain senseless in his denial of the truth. As
predicted, after we left him, things grew worse in time. So much so,
the last attempt to break through his hard headed ways of deluding
himself became impossible.
The holy writ states to bring such an individual before the entire
congregation. Everyone knowing him and her assembled, including her.
She was encouraged to speak up and get beyond the fear of reprisal,
for she would be protected in saying her peace. As an angel would
hearken unto the people of the earth she pleaded with him to awaken
from his self imposed exile of denial. Every time she spoke, he would
turn the conversation to his pain, his agony, his point of view.
Never once would he acknowledge her plight. She did everything she
knew to hold onto the marriage until it became clear that she was
being emotionally blackmailed by the man she had fallen in love with.
The man was so much in competition with himself, his God and
everyone around him that he failed to see the obvious. She had little
choice but to file for divorce because of irreconcilable differences.
I suggested that he should seek counseling since there was nothing I
could do to help him. And he did go to a psychologist for awhile.
When he went she went with him. Every time he would complain and
complain about her, about me, about the people around him and her. He
always talked in ways to convince everyone around him that he was
right and they were wrong. He wasn't open to cooperation much less
compromise. After a few visits, the psychologist wanted to see him
alone, without his wife. Well that did it, he quit going to the
psychologist. It wasn't long after that the wife filed for divorce.
She did so for the safety and security of her own sanity and the
welfare and well being of their child.
Needless to say, it was an ugly divorce. There was a custody
battle and he lost. He was going to prove that he was a better parent
than the natural mother of the child. The mediator made a comment to
him at the hearing. She said something to the effect, "Do you have a
problem with anger?" And, of course, the response of denial was,
"No." He was against her lifestyle and the church she frequented for
spiritual nourishment. And what was ironic, was that it was the same
place he was personally involved as an ordained minister for fifteen
(15) years. He told the court that he didn't feel that they could
afford to donate the monies they did to their place of worship. One
had to be amused when you realized this was the same guy, who had
gone out of his way to create a tape recording for people to listen
to, about tithing. A recording designed by him to encourage tithing
through explaining the spiritual laws of the way and means.
It was clear after the divorce that he was not only lost in his
self denial of creating a personal disaster but he was cocked, on a
mental level, to cause pain for anyone and everyone involved with
helping his wife see the light of the truth for the preservation of
her well being, and mad at everyone who dared to speak the truth as
they saw it, to his face.
Today, he is a divorced man who has lost the custody battle for
his child and his place in the church as an ordained minister. A
lonely soul who is caught up in his ego, mad at the world because it
doesn't suit his fancy, mad at women because he must dominate their
indomitable will, and most of all, he is mad because he just can't
agree to disagree with the beliefs of others and leave it at that. He
must seek revenge against those different from him. If there is a
living hell, the door to that mental plane of a personal prison must
be through the vain glory of egotism.
How about the wife and child? She is now the ex-wife and she is
fine, well again, thank God and restored to her rightful place of
thinking for herself and enjoying her life and the life of her child.
She is a minister in good standing with her church. Her faith in her
God, her family, herself and humanity to do the right thing, for the
right reason, are being upheld because she is a sincerely upright
individual who is grounded upon the sure foundation of sacred
principles.
How about me and the others involved with this moral issue? Well,
we are doing as well as to be expected for a people working in a
thankless profession. Every good deed has its just punishment. We can
feel the pain of the man who is blinded by his selfishness, lust and
greed. We can empathize with him as members of the same gender. The
sorrow is shared among the men who have come to know the beast within
themselves. Yet, in spite of that "male thing", the manly thing to do
isn't always an easy thing to do. You do the right thing when faced
with no choice but to do or die. We are men and we know men,
therefore, as men we know a liar when we see one. How could we not?
We've all been there. Some more often than not. We all prayed it
would have turned out differently, but how do you protect a man
against himself? You can't let him hurt others while he is hurting
himself. It is difficult, if not impossible to talk sense to a drunk,
and likewise it is the same for a male when his nose is open behind a
female. The love affairs of the heart can cause strange behavior
among the best of us.
A colleague read the article and thought about it for awhile. And
while I was tidying it up somewhat he came by my desk and said, "It
really is true isn't it? . . . Every good deed has its just
punishment?" I would say so. I've spent most of my adult life
fighting for the under dog while feeling I wasn't good enough to ask
anyone to fight for me. It is just part of the job when you deal with
people who have not yet learned to love themselves much less others.
If you follow the beliefs of your God given heart, the best you
know them to be for the well being of yourself in relationship to
others, there will always be those people who are poor in spirit that
just can't have it, no matter what you do and they must do everything
in their power to invalidate your effort, as well as do everything
they can to harm or hurt you in some way or another. I am sure I am
not the most favorite individual in this man's mind but then again,
he doesn't even like himself; so, I can't even begin to believe he
could like me. I am confident he waits in the wings awaiting the time
to expose more of his hypocrisy of bad-faith.
When you are in the place and position where I stand, one who
cannot leave the flock, the only individual that can get you off the
hook in time of need, is the God of your heart. I suspect that is why
the wise talk to their God in secret and He will reward them openly.
That's what I have to do for sanity. In truth, all should honor this
method for safety and security of sanity. The way is open to all but
not all are open to the way.
People of every race, color, creed, national origin and sexual
gender must learn to get along either by agreement to agree, or get
along by agreeing to disagree and leave well enough alone. Either way
is fine, for both ways include the freedom of choice and the freedom
of expression in a world where life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness is an endowment particular to the human race.
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