Giving The Love Vibration

By Kathy Bibeau, CH

Recently I was watching a television program that involved the giving of gifts to unsuspecting people. Everyone on the show, including the audience, appeared to be experiencing an emotional high, the greatest being experienced by the one doing the giving. It made me wonder what it is about giving that makes us feel so good. Naturally we should feel good when we receive a gift. Similarly when we give to or help another person we feel better about ourselves. Perhaps there is something about giving that makes us look at ourselves in a light that transcends our normal, everyday reality. We reach beyond our small world and get a glimpse of something bigger than ourselves.
It is easy to give to those we love. A mother showers love and affection on her children unconditionally. Husband and wife give to one another, and friends help each other out. However, what about the giving between strangers? Jesus said it is easy to love those we love but more worthy to love those we don’t love. When I hear stories about strangers coming to the aid of one another, or an opportunity arises for me to assist someone I do not know, a certain feeling is stirred inside of me. I feel better about myself, and humanity as a whole, when I participate in or witness the act of giving between strangers. And I am inspired to be a better person as a consequence. I believe most everyone has a similar experience.
I have also noticed that some people have a difficult time being given to. They become embarrassed, shy and try to deflect the attention off of themselves. There are times when most of us have experienced the sense that we are unworthy of receiving gifts, and deep within some people is the sense that they are undeserving. Sometimes we feel that being given to means we are weak or needy, and therefore it is something to be ashamed of. Yet, in reality it is in our very nature to give and receive from one another. That is what makes us a humanity of people.
The emotional benefits of being a giver seem evident. However, consider that recent studies have found that there is a physiological correspondence between the act of giving and a sense of well being, and that this contributes to overall good health. For example, scientists have discovered that our altruistic drive to be helpful is connected to an area of the brain rich in dopamine, the chemical that produces the pleasurable sensation activated by certain drugs (Neuron, July 18, 2002). These are the same pleasurable sensations that people experience in connection with being “in-love”, which researchers have found increase a person’s physical well being and potential life expectancy. It seems evident from this research that giving and loving are interconnected. Giving is simply another avenue through which we express love.
Researcher Allan Luks coined the phrase “helpers high’ to refer to the good feeling that people get when they help another. In particular his research found that regular, face-to-face, helping contact between people that are unrelated results in better health. Furthermore, he found that regular helping overtime produced sustained feelings of increased self-worth, calm and relaxation, all factors that contribute to greater health. He concluded that if individuals benefit in this way then the overall stress in our society could diminish significantly if more people participated in helping contact.
After 9-11 we saw a surge of volunteer activity in America. People turned their attention to things outside of their everyday world and put it on helping one another. We heard inspirational stories of people giving and helping, and our hearts were uplifted and a sense of pride was instilled in the American people. We came together as a nation in ways we had not experienced in decades. People were inspired to spend more time in charitable activities and with their families and friends. Yet sadly, in just a very short time we seem to have forgotten the experience we had, for the rates at which Americans volunteer their time and money to charitable organizations have returned to pre 9-11 standards. Given that sustained giving over time is a health benefit to individuals and society as a whole, then education and encouragement regarding giving should become a priority in this country, not just something we do in times of crisis.
It is an interesting fact that American’s gave more to charity during the Depression than they do today. Furthermore, according to the Barna Research Group, lower income families donate three times more of their income by percentage to charity than do middle-income Americans, and are twice as generous as wealthier Americans. There seems to be something about adversity that brings out the best in us. We are shaken out of complacency, at least momentarily, and are forced to look at the big picture. Whole communities receive a healing in times of crisis. There are endless stories of how people’s lives are permanently touched by acts of giving. The lessons we learn in these situations need to be carried forward into our everyday lives. Hopefully we do not have to continue to experience adversity in order to learn to give.
We all benefit from the exchange of giving and receiving, no matter what end of the stick we are on. Perhaps you need to learn how to give, or maybe you need to be more open to receiving. In either case a healing is awaiting you.